Skull Toaster is a project of discovery and learning, and not really a vehicle of opinion or editorial. That said, I am a human, and feel I must link up, ‘It Is Safer in the Dark: What the Treatment of Meggan Lambesis Tells Us About Violence, Victim-Blaming, and Silence,’ written by Natalie Zina Walschots.

I cannot stop thinking about Meggan Lambesis. As much as I cannot fathom the horror she is going through, I can just barely see the edges of it. I shudder at every awful comment levelled at her, because I see what I have avoided by sheer virtue of refusing to speak out. Meggan did not have the luxury of choosing silence; the crimes against her were made public without her consent and were beyond her control. Not speaking twists me, hurts me every day. But as long as the world continues to respond to powerful men harming the women in their lives the way they have responded to Meggan Lambesis, it is safer for me in the dark.

I saw a number of responses to this today, and most miss the point: Meggan Lambesis is the target of hatred here. And the writer, someone I consider an online friend, has been harassed and tormented. She’s been terrorized in the past.

As a human, how can I ignore this?

@sethw aaand now you know another (me). probably lots more, counting social media here.

— JUCIFER (@_JUCIFER_) May 16, 2013

When I recently got into the car of a female friend and the first thing she says is, “I want you to know there’s a gun under your seat. I just bought it because I have a stalker,” I can’t ignore that.

I can’t ignore people attacking my friends and missing the point of being systematically terrorized.

I can’t ignore that my female friends must take extra precautions walking home at night, or not drink too much or dress “slutty,” lest she be assaulted and “asking for for it.”

This post ain’t gonna change the world, but if it can get just one person motivated to think about these things (as I have in recent years), then I’m happy with that.